Posts tagged abi
Posts tagged abi
Got this in my email this morning … I like it.
In October of 1999 I was a senior in high school. I was a good student. Honors classes, quiet, heavily involved in sports, and one of those students who teachers would give the keys to the school to because I was trustworthy.
In short, I loved high school.
On Halloween night, my new boyfriend and I were driving to a Halloween party to pick up a friend who’d called for a ride home. We were close to my house, going over a four lane bridge with a raised median, and an animal passed in front of the car, just out of reach of the headlights.
My first thought was, “That was a really big fucking dog.” I slowed the car in case the animal was still in the road, and soon we saw it again. It was on the median, walking toward us. I slowed more, and as we passed the animal in my 1997 Rav4, its shoulders were as high as my eyes. Its shoulders rolled as it walked, and a long tail swished behind it.
I had no doubt that it was a cat from the way it moved. A very big cat. A very big, black cat.
Italics are iPad speaking.
Hearing something impressive:
Doc: ipadawesome ipad is also impressed
Doc: ……did iPad just compliment itself?
Abi: my favorite is when iPad inserts laughter. he only does it after one of us has said something depressing
Doc: LOL! OMG I’m sorry for ruining Kodak feeling moments
Abi: it’s like, ‘I’ve just cut myself and blood is gushing’ iPad: LOLZ
Doc: im so sorry <.< and it doesn’t help that I’m berating the shit out of iPad in the middle
Abi: ‘my husband just left me and I think I have cancer’ iPad:BAHAHAHAA
Doc: omfg iPad is grumpy cat
Word from the doctor today was the shoulder doesn’t need major surgery. The loose joint IS NO LONGER LOOSE.
I don’t even fucking know what’s going on anymore.
Picture sent to me by the lovely (and talented btw) S.A. McAuley.
I have decided my next bit of ink will be a completely white one. I have a little bit of white in one of the tattoos I already have, but it’s not really noticeable because it’s outlined and tiny. It also virtually disappears during the winter.
This picture is beautiful, and I’ve fallen in love with the idea of something like this on my shoulder, where it’s already marred by surgery scars. You can see where this woman’s scar is incorporated into this artwork.
Granted, considering the speed with which I tan I’d become like one of those T-shirts that changes color in the sun, but still…
After my next shoulder surgery, I’m doing this.
I debated on whether to address this further, but I decided it would nag at me for the rest of the night if I didn’t.
I have offended you. You find me abrasive. You dislike me or the things I post. Well, I’m not going to change who I am or what I do because someone doesn’t like me. If you find me so obnoxious, why are you here?
I am going to use social media to promote myself. This is my job. This is what I do. Social media is a tool for writers, and my primary objective is to display my books so they will sell.
That is what I do.
Some authors take an entirely professional approach to social media, posting only book-related news. I do that as well, on the Facebook fan page. You can go there and like it, or to my website, and get every bit of information you need without dealing with that pesky personality issue.
Some authors chronicle their day. ‘I’m awake.’ ‘I’m writing.’ ‘I’m looking out the window.’ I make some of those posts too, here on Tumblr, on Twitter, or on Facebook. When the urge to interact overwhelms me and I have nothing relevant to say, I post something in the hopes that someone, anyone, will speak to me. Because writing is lonely. I’ve gone some days where the only human voice I hear is my own or that of actors on TV or a singer on iTunes. Just knowing that someone is out there can combat the sense that I am alone.
But I try to have fun with it, and that is where Tumblr comes in. It’s still an unconventional forum for writers, not many M/M authors were here when I started. I’m still not sure there are many. I try to do new things so neither I nor my readers will get bored. The AskAbi blog came about because I was being inundated with questions and they were clogging up my dash, so I separated them so people could follow if they wished.
Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook. These things are not a requirement. You do not have to follow them. You do not have to check them out. You do not have to discover that I am a human being.
If I rub you the wrong way because I use my own vehicles to promote myself … how can I put this diplomatically? Let’s try go fuck yourself.
I will admit that I am upset right now, and it all comes down to this. You don’t know me. And you don’t have to.
I’ve been in constant pain since I was 14 years old, and it’s the first thing I think of every morning, and the last thing I think of every night. I’ve been loyal to people who betrayed me over and over and I have never learned my lesson. I lost touch with every friend I ever had in the first 23 years of my life because the only thing we had in common was the sport of volleyball. I lost the first love of my life because my body was no longer capable of taking the abuse of playing sports. My husband berated every life choice I made, cheated on me, and then walked out. My writing partner quit on me without a word of warning, leaving me to carry what has become this massive series and to work under the intense spotlight that follows it. And that spotlight is becoming brighter and more painful.
Humor and sarcasm are how I cope. But if you don’t want to know that, you don’t have to. If you want to know that and then don’t like it, go fuck yourself.
This year I will donate over $1600 to Big Cat rescue organizations, including adopting the real Barnum the Bengal Tiger in Texas, the one I flew to see, for an entire year. And yet, I’ve received criticism that I don’t do proper research because everyone knows there are no tigers in Texas.
Just last week I donated $300 to the Red Cross, and I promoted the hell out of myself to raise the money. I felt guilty about every post I made to sell my books.
I’ve raised almost $3,500 to donate to the Wounded Warrior Project and Got Your 6 through the sales of T-Shirts, Cafepress merchandise, compasses, and charms. I wasn’t going to tell anyone the numbers, because it didn’t matter how much, as long as I did it. But as a reward, I’m being sent nasty anonymous messages about being self-absorbed.
So. Go fuck yourself.
So I’m in Philadelphia with the hopes of getting loads of work done before my cousin’s wedding. And what’s not working? If you answered ‘the freaking Internet!!!! Aaaagh!!’ Then you’d be right.
A lot of you are newer readers, and therefore don’t know a lot of what went on with me in the past few years. I think if you did, you might not be panicking quite so much. I’m going to offer a few facts from my life to see if the knowledge will help ease your minds.
I like to think I put some integrity into the stories I write. I try to make them true to themselves, and I put myself into them. I strive to make the characters genuine, and sometimes that means they do bad things, or make the wrong decisions.
But if you are well and truly worried about the content of what I might write in coming books, I can assure you of one thing, and one thing only. I will never make myself live through another betrayal like that one. Take that as you will.
Seriously. I want to be a good influence, for the most part. And since this knee surgery signifies a sort of new beginning for me, I want to use the opportunity to right my ship. Here are the things I’m planning, along with the superficial reasons to be inspired to do them. This is basically me talking to myself, but if a minion or two can find something useful here, that’s reason enough for me to share my goals with you.
You’re Zane: clean up your act. Zane has stopped smoking, drinking, and doing drugs, and he’s dedicated himself to making his body a powerhouse. He intends to be healthy and happy for a very long time.
You’re Ty: everything has a place. That little hint of OCD in Ty’s life, plus all those years of military precision, mean that his home is spotless and organized. And the gay in him means that the throw pillows coordinate with the paint.
You’re Deuce: take a chill pill. Deuce has gone through all the ups and downs of life in stride, and nothing bothers him for too long, mostly due to his laid-back attitude and ability to bed the bendy yoga girl whenever he feels like it.
You’re Liam Bell: you do what you want.