Abi Roux

purveyor of fine black market orchids

Posts tagged canadians

48 notes

jackean: abiroux: a-white-raven: Someone on FB mentioned that the minions need their own 12 steps program. And I couldn´t agree more. The FBI is going to come after me as a cult leader soon. I’m going to be all, ‘oooh, can you pull gun for me?!’ The best part is how you’re totally NOT joking. A secruity guard pretended to pull a gun or do something with a gun on me in Washington when she said I was Canadian and she thought it was the best part of the trip! Hot security guard popped the button on his holster and grabbed his gun when I said you were Canadian. I would have married him if he’s suggested it.

jackean:

abiroux:

a-white-raven:

Someone on FB mentioned that the minions need their own 12 steps program. And I couldn´t agree more.

The FBI is going to come after me as a cult leader soon. I’m going to be all, ‘oooh, can you pull gun for me?!’

The best part is how you’re totally NOT joking. A secruity guard pretended to pull a gun or do something with a gun on me in Washington when she said I was Canadian and she thought it was the best part of the trip!

Hot security guard popped the button on his holster and grabbed his gun when I said you were Canadian. I would have married him if he’s suggested it.

Filed under abi likes guys with guns canadians

20 notes

The Anatomy of a Mindfuck

Abi:
'An avocado is not just a fruit, it is also a berry' I thought berries were fruit...
Doc:
i think berries are not fruits..... lol
Doc:
or maybe that psychofact is a troll
Dixie:
Like tomatoes!
S.A:
when did berries become not a fruit?
Abi:
Although berries are fruits, there are many fruits which are considered berries by most people that may not actually be classified as berries.
Abi:
this is making my head hurt
Doc:
I DO NOT UNDERSTAND!!!!!!!!!!
S.A:
i can't even read that
S.A:
lets just go with avocados are yummy
Doc:
so if all berries are fruit but not all fruits are berries, then some fruits are berries??
Abi:
The term berry is merely a small subset of the types of fruit that grow in the world. You can also see that berries as most people think of them belong to many different groups of types of fruits and develop in vastly different ways.
Doc:
LMAO! avocados are DELICIOUS
Abi:
some berries are not fruit?!
Doc:
cannot compute
S.A:
i just... i can't..... what?
Abi:
GRAPES ARE BERRIES AND NOT FRUIT?!
Doc:
i think the moral of this story is that berries are fruit but not all fruits are berries therefore berries are fruit and not all fruits are berries.
Abi:
honeysuckle is a berry
Abi:
not all berries are fruit
Doc:
WHAT THE HELL IS A HONEYSUCKLE?!?!?!?!??!?!?!!?
Doc:
i thought all berries are fruit!!!
Doc:
GUISE
Doc:
GUISE
Abi:
you don't know what honeysuckle is?!
Doc:
WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL IS THIS CONVERSATION
Abi:
oh jesus. oranges are berries
Doc:
WHAT1?!?!?
Abi:
ORANGES AND LEMONS ARE MODIFIED BERRIES
Doc:
HOW CAN SOMETHING BE A MODIFIED BERRY!!!! IT'S A BERRY OR IT'S NOT!!!
Doc:
I'M UNABLE TO CAN, GUISE!!!!
Abi:
no. fuck no. I did not read any of this.
Abi:
Common fruits that are sometimes classified as epigynous, or false, berries include bananas, coffee, members of the genus Vaccinium (e.g., cranberries and blueberries), and members of the family Cucurbitaceae (e.g., cucumbers, melons and squash)
Doc:
CUCUMBERS?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?1
Doc:
NO.
Doc:
oranges are oranges. cucumbers are cucumbers. mother fucking berries ARE BERRIES and avocados are guacamole!!!!
Abi:
Many fruits commonly referred to as berries are not actual berries by the scientific definition. These include BLACKBERRIES and RASPBERRIES
Doc:
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!?!?!?!?
Doc:
I JUST SCREAMED AT MY COMPUTER!!!
Abi:
Mulberries and strawberries are not berries either!
Doc:
blackberries and raspberries ARE FUCKING BERRIES!!! THE TYPE IS IN THE NAME!!
Doc:
what?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Doc:
abi you are destroying my sense of reality!!!
Doc:
ANYTHING WITH THE WORD BERRY IN IT IS A FREAKING BERRY!!!
Abi:
not according to the berry people!
Doc:
the berry people are trolling!!! BECAUSE NO. i refuse
Doc:
i refuse this entire conversation
Dixie:
Lmfaoooooo.
Dixie:
*insert morgan freeman pict*
Doc:
THEIR ARGUMENT IS INVALID!!
S.A:
This is the BEST THREAD EVER
(twenty minutes later)
Abi:
wait...is this why they call it fruit and berries when they list shit on menus? DO PEOPLE HAVE THIS KNOWLEDGE ALREADY?!?!
Doc:
omfggggg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! O.O
Dixie:
Lmfaooooooooo
Doc:
no. this can't be true
Doc:
I refuse this.
S.A:
mind. blown.
Abi:
I'm not even drugged tonight guys
Dixie:
I'm feeling the itch to google this shit
Doc:
IM UNABLE TO CAN WITH THIS guys
Abi:
I did Google it, did you think I was just pulling all that info out of my ass?!
Doc:
your ass is quite a knowledgeable mindfuck
Doc:
LMAO!
Dixie:
Lmfaooo! I know here are ules,like if it has seeds its a berry
Dixie:
A pit its a fruit
Dixie:
Hence why a tomato not a veggie
Doc:
AVOCADOS HAVE PITS!!!
Doc:
why is it a berry!!!
Dixie:
And an avacado is a fruit
Doc:
but it's also a berry......
Dixie:
I thought it was a fruit?
Dixie:
What?
Dixie:
Wtf?
Doc:
LMAO .... thats how this whole convo got started!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Doc:
DIXIE!!!
Dixie:
THAT'S AGAINST THE RULES!!
S.A:
An avacado is NOT a fucking berry. I dont care what Google says
Doc:
AVOCADO is fuckign guacamole
Doc:
your argument is invalid
Abi:
berries are berries if the plant was formed from the FUCK YOU of the plant
S.A:
Amen!
Doc:
LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Dixie:
Lol! Yes!
Abi:
I'm done with this. I would say I'd never eat a berry again, but I still don't know what they are.
Doc:
if strawberries are not berries but cucumbers are..... i dont know anything anymore
S.A:
the world will never be right again. moment of silence for our lost innocence
(five minutes later)
Abi:
did you know that berries aren't always fruit?!
Canadian:
No?
Abi:
AGH
Abi:
my mind is BLOWN
Canadian:
Has this shattered your world view?
Canadian:
What are they then?
Abi:
they're berries!!
(five minutes later)
Dixie:
Uh that reminds me......
Dixie:
dingleberries!
Dixie:
Dingleberries are the little balls of shit stuck to guys asshair.
Dixie:
Just to let u know
Abi:
you're a dingleberry. shut up.
Doc:
LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOO
S.A:
jebus you people make my head hurt

Filed under conversations berries fruit mind blown this is how you know I'm not writing s.a. mcauley canadians doc Don't freak out dixie normous ocd hell

4 notes

Word Games

Abi:
it's a.... goddammit
Abi:
OXYMORON
Abi:
no
Abi:
I quit
Canadian:
that's not an oxymoron
Canadian:
It's redundant
Canadian:
I'm pretty sure redundant is the only world for redundant
Abi:
I think you're right
Canadian:
I'm always right
Abi:
ooh ohh, fallacy!
Abi:
guess the word games are fun, let's do another
Canadian:
LOL
Canadian:
You suck
Abi:
definitive statement
Canadian:
*smacks*
Abi:
action
Canadian:
FOAD
Abi:
.....not English
Abi:
Canadian curse word?
Canadian:
Acronym!
Canadian:
Come on!
Abi:
awwww
Canadian:
Fuck Off And Die - FOAD
Abi:
that's not very Canadian of you
Canadian:
What were we talking about?
Abi:
no clue

Filed under canadians conversations

6 notes

Like Freedom and Bacon

(no response to my most recent witticism)
Canadian:
Sorry, was running
Abi:
oh sure, rub it in
Canadian:
Then I had to change the kitty litter, if that makes you feel better
Canadian:
And I smell now
Abi:
you always smell
(long silence)
Abi:
you're showering now aren't you
(Canadian silence)
Abi:
you can't shower the canadian smell off, canadian! it's stuck on you!
(silence giving the bitchface)
Canadian:
LOL
Canadian:
That's okay. Better than smelling like an American
Abi:
americans smell like freedom and bacon. om nom nom
Canadian:
Canadians smells like snow and Canadian bacon, which is better
Canadian:
And maple syrup, because we're so sweet
Abi:
pft
(later in the evening)
Abi:
I think I need a shower
Abi:
I smell gross
Abi:
like... Canadian
Abi:
....wait, that might just be the litter box
Canadian:
*smacks*

Filed under canadians abi vs the canadian om nom nom she's my bff and that's why my soul is hollow